Here Alone

For the first time in a long while I feel utterly alone. I can't explain it. First of all it is storming…I hate rain and storms. Second of all I have gone an entire semester without a boyfriend….i miss the security of having someone (I never thought I would say that.) Third no of my besties are within my grasp (one is in Atlanta, on is almost in florida, and the other one is in fucking VA) and my ONE BESTIE FOR EVER ANDEVER is going to be at camp all summer. And lastly I am sitting in my dorm room alone….not a single roommate…..not a single person on my floor (possibly my building). I am utterly alone.

I even cried because I was sad to be alone. Those who know me well know I DON'T FUCKING CRY EVER!!!!!!!!!! I want a hug from a boy I want a kiss from a boy I wanna wake up next to a boy…..I want a boy who won't walk out on me! I need a vacation! I want to feel love again! Is it so wrong to want these few things in life? I thought I could be strong….but I am not as strong as I think I am.

I think these things quietly while all I really want to do is scream. But no I just sit here…alone.

Brush Up On Your Shakespeare

So i am currently very excited for my friends who are in London but at the same time extremely jealous! I wish i were there right now typing this from a flat or from a table in a pub, but alas i am sitting here...in the CCT building computer lab...waiting for my next class to start...oh the joys of science...(gagging on my own word vomit there)! Any way i have a movie date two nights from now with my dear friend Cassie we are gonna watch the amazing Connie and Carlawoot! and then this weekend i head home to go to a chorale concert of a friend of mine that should be fun and exciting as it has been the past five years i have attended. But tomorrow i dread....my first speech in my Communications class...blech!!!!!! I hate public speaking...acting and speech giving are two different things, people! But it is a simple speech that we initially are going to build up into a a stronger speech next week. This Maymester is gonna be interesting but after it is over i only have two more core classes to complete till i am done with them forever!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOO!!!!

so as The Bard would say...Alls well That Ends well!

If You Were Gay

i think tonight i lost hope in gay men. i think i now only know two other gay men with the same morals as i have. I am sorry that i don't sleep with everyone who would let me in bed with them. NO STIRNGS ATTACHED is a sorry excuse for being a slut...the one person i have ever had a relationship with that i actually thought was genuine tonight told me he thought our first night together was going to be a NSA thing and yet he was the one who asked me out...oh and then dumped me too....IRONIC ISN"T IT......FUCK IT!
American gays don't get it. They think if you have a dick you will just jump in bed i am sorry i started out liking girls and i didn't just hop in bed with them either...i was brought up that sex is a special thing between you and someone you really care about...it has to have meaning...i mean fooling around is one thing but even to me there has to be some kind of connection before i will do anything. I am so shocked to be finding out that people think it is just a friendly thing....it is not not in my book...i am sorry if i sound prudish but it just the way i feel.

Another thing that pisses me off. Why are people so shallow that they have to have a "type" i really couldn't tell you what my type is....i have dated so many different kinds of people...it is annoying to think i can't have a chance at someone because they only date jocks....SHUT UP YOU SHALLOW DIPSTICK (you don't deserve anyone.) I am sorry if this pushes buttons but i can't stand shallow people.

Once again aggravation has brought me to post for the first time in a while.